| | About the Past
It's funny how some people claim that...time can heal all wounds, to some extent i believe that to be true... and i trust that with time the pain will go away. The sudden thoughts and emotions are coming from an hour long of CD repairing... more like salvaging my past. I put a CD in my bag the other day unaware of the information that was inside this CD until today when i was cleaning i noticed some scratches or leaks from my lunch box onto the CD. The shiney sheet on the Cd that holds the data was eaten away, as I quickly tried to salvage what was in the CD i realized that what was in the CD was more then the shits and giggles that i've enjoyed over the past few years... but also the remaining pieces of my past... or my past with her. Pictures, comments, documents... alot of it is gone, and although i haven't looked at any of these things in the past few years, the idea of it being forever gone just bothers me. This isn't the first time, a few months ago i realized that my old account somewhere online was deleted because i haven't logged on for so long, in the guestbook of this page holds our interaction, our past. Maybe it's a sign, a sign to let go completely... whatever happens, whatever path she takes is really none of my business, i have no place to say right from wrong, i don't have a place as a friend, in fact.. i have no place in her life at all. It'll be her 22nd birthday on Wednesday, all i can say is .. happy birthday. It's about time for us both to put everything behind us, all ties have been lost.. it's time to start fresh. Wouldn't that be great? a fresh start... "Hi, I'm so and so... nice to meet you"
About the Present
In the beginning of this blurb, i noted how it's funny how time passes but thing stay the same. It seems as life tends to replicate itself and that we're destined to move in cycles. After being through what i thought was a rough time with the ex, the person who i saw as someone i could trust, someone that would be more then a friend... is really just a friend. It's just odd how we're "friends" but we fall under this shady area where... i know you probably feel more, you definately know i feel more... unfortunately your answer to me was just not convincing enough for me to move on, but how i wish it were. You say you don't, but you definately don't act like it... I should definately let go, whatever you think or feel... as far as i'm concerned your answer was no... and that's all i should need to know. I know you've made every effort to salvage the friendship, but maybe i'm just not ready; after all, it has been 5 years. All i need is time... and hopefully after this time, it'll be smooth sailing from here on...
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| | Posted 7/23/2006 9:28 PM - 7 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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