| 可能今天晚上喝了一點酒。。開始想起很多很多過去的往事。。。回想那時的你。。那時的我們﹐ 那段最純真的愛情故事。。已經無法回去。 突然想向你說一聲 ’你好嗎﹖這幾年的你過得好嗎﹖有什麼事需要幫忙嗎﹖等等﹐等等。。。 可是所有的都只能夠放在心裡﹐ 讓自己去猜去想。。
那天終於碰上了你﹐ 事情都已過了差不多有六年。 但是﹐事之今我依然只能夠站在遠方的看著你﹐畢竟大家都已經不是當年所認識的大家。但是我始終覺得你就是你﹐ 無論你怎麼告訴別人你是一個怎樣的人我始終相信你還是你﹐怎樣的改變﹐都是我認識的你。 那日的我從現了一種’這麼近卻那麼遠‘的感覺﹐ 其實應該說我們是。。。一對很久沒見的好朋友﹐還是陌生人﹖到今天我還是猜不透.
命運真愛弄人竟然安排了我們在同一個商場工作。。。不知是否時候讓我們修補我們的關係﹐還是這是一個一世都無法修補的遺憾﹖還是讓命運決定。。就讓一切隋緣吧。
對於在大學認識的你。。我只能夠說一句’祝你能夠找到你想找的人‘無論我有多喜歡你﹐還是你對我如何﹐ 我以經無力氣支撐下去﹐畢竟過了這麼多事﹐ 人都累了。。真的很累。沒錯我還是很喜歡你﹐但這又可以代表什麼。。我們又可以有什麼結果﹖我已經踏出了很多步﹐你要原地踏步。。我也無可內何。。到了這個地步﹐等還有什麼用。其實早就應該放手﹐只是自己辦不到。。。
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| About the Past
It's funny how some people claim that...time can heal all wounds, to some extent i believe that to be true... and i trust that with time the pain will go away. The sudden thoughts and emotions are coming from an hour long of CD repairing... more like salvaging my past. I put a CD in my bag the other day unaware of the information that was inside this CD until today when i was cleaning i noticed some scratches or leaks from my lunch box onto the CD. The shiney sheet on the Cd that holds the data was eaten away, as I quickly tried to salvage what was in the CD i realized that what was in the CD was more then the shits and giggles that i've enjoyed over the past few years... but also the remaining pieces of my past... or my past with her. Pictures, comments, documents... alot of it is gone, and although i haven't looked at any of these things in the past few years, the idea of it being forever gone just bothers me. This isn't the first time, a few months ago i realized that my old account somewhere online was deleted because i haven't logged on for so long, in the guestbook of this page holds our interaction, our past. Maybe it's a sign, a sign to let go completely... whatever happens, whatever path she takes is really none of my business, i have no place to say right from wrong, i don't have a place as a friend, in fact.. i have no place in her life at all. It'll be her 22nd birthday on Wednesday, all i can say is .. happy birthday. It's about time for us both to put everything behind us, all ties have been lost.. it's time to start fresh. Wouldn't that be great? a fresh start... "Hi, I'm so and so... nice to meet you"
About the Present
In the beginning of this blurb, i noted how it's funny how time passes but thing stay the same. It seems as life tends to replicate itself and that we're destined to move in cycles. After being through what i thought was a rough time with the ex, the person who i saw as someone i could trust, someone that would be more then a friend... is really just a friend. It's just odd how we're "friends" but we fall under this shady area where... i know you probably feel more, you definately know i feel more... unfortunately your answer to me was just not convincing enough for me to move on, but how i wish it were. You say you don't, but you definately don't act like it... I should definately let go, whatever you think or feel... as far as i'm concerned your answer was no... and that's all i should need to know. I know you've made every effort to salvage the friendship, but maybe i'm just not ready; after all, it has been 5 years. All i need is time... and hopefully after this time, it'll be smooth sailing from here on...
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